When Where You Live Doesn’t Feel Like Home

A little over a year ago, the Air Force told us that it was time to leave our wonderful community in the middle of the Pacific, time to leave Maui and set up home in yet another state…5 states in 11 years of marriage. Leaving Maui was the hardest goodbye I’ve said since leaving home for college. For me there was something about the people and the community on that rock in the ocean that just felt like home, it felt like a place that I could stay forever. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that feeling anywhere even though as an Air Force wife, I know it’s going to be a while before I actually get to settle down anywhere. Many times a week I long for my Maui home. Before you start to think it’s because Maui is a tropical paradise, let me assure that it has very little to do with the beaches and palm trees, but everything to do with the community, culture and way of life we discovered during our 3 years there. The pace of life is slower, the need for “stuff” is much less, it’s just simpler and less complicated (unless you count the fact that visiting family requires at least a 5 hour plane ride and that attending a 1 day meeting in D.C. often resulted in being gone 4 or 5 days.)

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For the time being we’ve set up home on the plains of southern Colorado, I use the term “home” very loosely here. Even though we’ve been here over a year, I’ve yet to really feel at home here. I’ve made our home a place that is home to us but, for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on, Colorado just doesn’t feel homey to me. Maybe it’s the lack of matured landscaping in our brand new neighborhood, maybe it’s the fact that the weather is completely insane, I don’t really know, but I just have this feeling of being unsettled, almost insecure. And so I struggle with how to enjoy my time here even though I feel this way. It’s not like I’m miserable, we have a wonderful church here and some awesome friends, but for some reason there’s this underlying feeling of everything being so temporary, unsettled and unattached. I’m trying to “bloom where I’m planted” but I don’t really feel like I’ve been planted, more like I’m still a seed in a packet, haha. Since we’ve decided to make a career of this military thing and we’ve moved quite a bit already, I know that the settled feeling is different for a military family, but for some reason this time it’s different. I can’t figure it out and it’s making me crazy!

What do you guys do when where you live doesn’t feel like home?  Got any tips or tricks for me?  Or do you do what I’m currently doing and just keep trucking along until Uncle Sam tells you to pack your bags again?

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